Happy Valhallantine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day (or as we like to call it, Valhallantine's Day)! Today we're counting down the most common Valentine's Day gift mistakes, along with some ideas on how to fix them. Did you mess up this year? Need to get outta the doghouse quick? Never fear, Birds of Valhalla's got your back!
The Gift That Keeps On Giving: A ᚠᚢᚲᛁᛜ Calendar
The first mistake we're going to cover is probably why you're reading this: Missing the deadline to order a gift for delivery in time for Valentine's Day. Hey, it could be worse, you could have missed the deadline to write a post reminding people to order in time for delivery by Valentine's Day (oops). The good news is that our thoughtfully handmade soaps, lip balms, and solid fragrance compacts don't go bad, never go out of style, and make great gifts year round!
Mjölnir? I Don't Even Know 'Er!
The next mistake is one we've all made: Stealing Thor's hammer and holding it ransom until Freyja agrees to marry you. When your wedding day finally arrives, you lift your beloved's veil to place a kiss upon the goddess's beautiful lips. However, you're horrified to discover it's actually Thor in disguise! An epic beatdown ensues, and- wait a second, that's the plot of the Norse myth about Þrymr. Sorry. Let's move on.
Russell Stover? I Don't Even Know 'Er!
Our next big mistake is buying your love a big ol' box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. Have you looked at all the unhealthy, artificial ingredients in commercial chocolates? Are you trying to poison your partner? Not to mention all the sugar- isn't your sweetheart sweet enough? Our suggestion: MILF and Cookies Breastmilk Body Soap. It contains natural, food-based ingredients that will make you and your partner smell like decadent chocolate, caramel, gingerbread, and coffee. Plus it's made with ingredients you can actually pronounce, just like whispering sweet nothings in your lover's ear (trust us, just uttering the phrase "phthalate free fragrance oil" always makes us melt).
Liquor? I Don't Even Know Any Puns I Could Use Here.
Speaking of melting, maybe you've made the mistake of buying a fancy bottle of champagne or liquor so that you and your partner can get totally melted together. Sounds ideal right? Start off with a beautiful, serene evening, throw in a few drinks, and soon you're both sloppily slurring your heart's innermost drunkthoughts. Cut to the next morning, when your memories of the supposedly romantic evening are a blur, and all that's left of your gift is a headache and an empty bottle. Our suggestion: Our wax melts come in a wide variety of fragrances to create an unforgettable romantic atmosphere. Choose from dozens of swoon-worthy scents, like Chocolate Strawberry, Honey Moon, Peach Nectar, and Wild Rose, plus so many more.
Not Every Rose Has Its Thorns
We've saved one of the most popular Valentine's Day gift mistakes for last: Roses. They're pricey, wilt within days, and their thorns aren't the sort of pricks anyone enjoys on Valentine's Day. Do you really think the perfect symbol of your undying love is basically a fistful of salad? Our suggestion: Our limited edition Wild Rose Hand Soap is more than just soap, they're little works of art. A variety of colors and scents ensures you'll find one (or a whole bouquet) that appeals to your love's tastes. However, one thing they have in common with real roses is that once they're gone, they're gone, so get yours now.
Bonus mistake: Not buying a gift for yourself! Whether you're on your own today or surrounded by lovers, self-care is at the heart of what Birds of Valhalla is all about. There are a lot of ways to show yourself some love: take a long, relaxing bath by candlelight, curl up with a good book, or take a long drive to one of your favorite places. Treat yo self!
And if nobody else has told you today, we love you, and there's nothing you can do about it. Happy Valhallantine's Day!
15 comments
The Roses are adorable
Love the wordplay, also – there is so much gratitude for ‘normalizing’ using breastmilk for skin care. It’s truly magical.
I can not thank you guys enough ever. Your products have helped mine and my children’s skin and pain so much! Love you all!
After reading this I feel like I missed an opportunity to steal Thors hammer until my wife agreed to marry me 🤣 this gave me a goof giggle and I love how you’ve got a solution to all the “Valhallentines” stereo-typical gifts! Not to mention I’ll NEVER refer to it as valentines day again…..Valhallentines Day just rolls off the tongue better! I hope you do blogs like this for every holiday!!
Russel stoves. That was cute